I have been thinking these last few days about this post.
About how can I possible express what these last 5 months have been like.
Today our sweet gift from The Lord turns 1. I have tears writing this.
Our girl has only been with us for 5 months.
I think about the time she wasn’t with us and I almost can’t breathe.
It makes me so sad, sad that she never knew her birth mother, sad that she was sick and alone.
Sad, that I didn’t get to be with her when she was so sick.
That I didn’t get to comfort her when she was scared.
That I didn’t get to see her first smile or hear her first coo.
But blessed beyond measure that I have had so many first with her in these 5 months that God saved just for us.
This almost two years have not been easy. If God would of shown me what we were going to go through before the beautiful
day we met our daughter….we would of said there is NO way we can’t do this.
There was a time and I am sure there still is, that people thought we were nuts…heck I thought we were.
But, I wasn’t going to sit at the end of my life and look into the eyes of Christ and when He asked me, “so why when I asked you
to help one of my children you said NO”…..ummmm..well you see Lord..my family isn’t comfortable with it, I was to old..
we had plans, dreams..I mean I’ve already raised 3 daughters…etc..etc.etc.
There was NO way I was going to do that. God chose us, He didn’t chose my neighbor or anyone else for our precious girl, He chose us
and by gosh, we were not going to say no.
We met loss deeply two times before bringing Lilly home..loss I wouldn’t wish on anyone. The loss of a referral of a boy that we met and fell in love with.
The loss of our daughter Grace the day she went to be with Jesus.
I am so glad He didn’t show us these losses upfront…I would of ran the other way. The hurt was real..very real.
But He had us in His hands, He was going to see us through.
Every single day I look into my daughters eyes I see the eyes of Jesus.
She is the little joy of my heart…I can’t even express the love and joy she brings to our life.
I NEVER in a million years (not sure why) thought adoption would be so wonderful.
There are still those days that I see she started her little life in a orphanage…but overall our gift is settling in wonderful.
I have learned a lot from Lilly in these few short months…
Uber amounts of joy and love…how one little soul can change 100′s of people by her testimony.
Most of all, I have seen the faithfulness of God, I have seen Him show up time and time again for her and us.
That He loves Lilly way more then we ever could.
That He can bring beauty from ashes.
Everyday I look into those amazing eyes of hers, touch her mocha skin, hug her tight. I thank The Lord above for asking us
to be HER FAMILY FOREVER.
Thank you Lord for trusting us with your precious gem, for allowing us to be her parents.
I would NOT change it for anything in this world.
To my baby girl…mommy loves you so much it leaves me completely breathless.
You bring me so much happiness.
The way your smile goes from the top of your head to your little bitty toes.
The way your eyes sparkle every minute of every day.
The way you raise your sweet little hands when we are worshiping God at church.
The way you make your little frog noise when you get tired.
The way your little body moves when you get so excited.
The way you kiss my lips when you want to get close.
The way you sing in the back of the car and dance to the music.
They way you wave sideways telling us you want to go night-night..be still my heart.
You feel my heart so full.
I can’t keep the tears back, every time I think of what would of happen if we would of said no..I just can’t fathom that.
If God is calling you to something, that you just don’t think you can do.
Rethink it..He will carry you every step of the way.
He never promised following Him would be easy, but He does promise to be there, to help through the hard times.
You might not feel equipped, but He doesn’t call the equipped.
He equips the called. (trust me on this)
This isn’t about what makes me comfortable, it’s about bringing Him the glory.
None of this story is about us, it’s about His unfailing love for His children.
THANK YOU LORD…THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING US.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! to our sweet Lilly.
Your family loves you so much.